I thought it might be helpful to tell you a little about myself. I’m a happy, positive, life-affirming person, with an insatiable curiosity about human behaviour; what drives and motivates us, and why we do what we do. My family and friends are most important to me; I take pride in them knowing that they can lean on me, no matter what the circumstances. I’m happily married with three children who are now young adults.
My coaching bona fides are founded in a lifelong study of human behaviour, on personal, academic and professional levels. I’m fascinated with relationships, which I see as integral to all aspects of our lives, whether these are Romantic, Family, Friendships, Incidental or Work-based. I believe that most of what is achieved in life takes place via interactions with others, and these interactions are relationships, however brief they may be. I have over twenty years of experience in the Ministry of Justice, which deals with civil and family conflict resolution at court level. I am also a 1st class honours psychology graduate and a member of the British Psychological Society. Perhaps more importantly I have an adult lifetime of helping people become more, and achieve more for themselves and their loved ones.
I haven’t always been such a confident person, quite the opposite in fact. I grew tired of this as I could see I was missing out on so much. I decided therefore to analyse what my obstacles were and figure out what I could do to change things for myself. I have an analytical mind and quickly figured out that I was letting fear get in the way of achieving anything meaningful to me.
The revelation that the problem lay within me was enormously empowering as I realised that I could also be my own solution. From that time on I decided that as long as I felt safe, I would deliberately put myself in the way of anything that I was afraid of doing. This included parachute and bungee jumping, even though I have a fear of heights. Remarkably, I found that the greater the fear, the greater the sense of achievement.
I found this such an exciting discovery that it inspired me to develop myself at all levels, increasing my confidence, and improving my communication skills in the process. As happens in life everything did not go smoothly, and at times I found overcoming the obstacles very challenging. Spending some considerable time far out of my comfort zone, I’ve learnt what to do, and as importantly, what not to do. It’s been well worth the effort, I lost a lot of weight and became fit, taking up multiple hobbies including playing guitar, salsa dancing and cooking, to name a few.
I experienced greatly improved relationships and with my new-found confidence expanded myself professionally, learning a wide range of new skills, also becoming a civil and family court manager. After some time however, I realised that I wanted more from my career.
While dealing with the inflexible procedures of civil and family court conflict resolution I realised that win or lose, my customers were rarely happy with their outcomes. Their feedback revealed a process so stressful, that often the only good emotion they felt was relief that it was finally over. At this time I felt strongly that it was a shame that people needed courts in order to resolve their conflicts.
I thought how nice it would be if we all were better equipped to handle these problems ourselves, or better still, know how to avoid finding ourselves in such situations in the first place. Trusting myself I took the risky decision to leave my job and undertake a psychology degree; a path complicated by being diagnosed with cancer around the same time.
My confidence was such that even though I had no foundation degree, I persuaded the university to accept my entry. I was also determined to get the best result achievable. Three years later I graduated with a 1st class honours, despite spending a considerable amount of time in hospital from multiple operations and the ill effects of radiotherapy. At no point did I allow myself to feel like a victim, or believe I was suffering, as I felt that attitude would not have helped me. I was simply determined to deal with the problems that were before me in the most positive ways possible, and remain focused on achieving all I had planned. It was difficult, sometimes overwhelming, but the end results were well worth the risk and effort.
If you want to understand more about how to succeed in the face of adversity, and have this level of focus then I look forward to speaking with you.
In coaching, my philosophy is based in balance and realism, and comes from a genuine desire to help you take control and send your life in whatever direction you plan for. Our focus will be positive; we’ll identify the obstacles and work out strategies to overcome them. By increasing your understanding and skills you’ll learn how to manage and embrace change, hone your ability to focus and become the very best version of yourself.
I hope by now you’ve gathered that my drive is to help you empower yourself. Whether this is promoting and managing change, developing yourself, or improving your relationship skills.
